Sometimes, information comes across our ears for a very specific reason. For instance, I was grocery shopping recently, and overheard a woman telling an acquaintance she’d bumped into that she was getting a divorce. She said loudly, “And I’m never getting married again. I’m not putting up with anyone else’s mess and they won’t have to put up with mine!” As someone that hopes to marry a wonderful man one day, hearing things like this always cause me to have a dialogue with God about the matter. I couldn’t help but wonder if this woman knows God’s Word or trusts fully in Him. Even though she spoke her declaration brazenly and boldly, there had to have been heartache and disappointment underneath. It is very possible that she or her soon to be ex-husband never invited Jesus Christ into their marriage, and therefore, never gave him a chance to bring the type of healing they both needed.
We live in a society where people place more trust in themselves or those with educational degrees to solve their problems than they do in God’s Word. Hebrews 4:12(NKJV) tells us, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” There is no greater power in the earth than God’s Word, and there is no greater thing that any human being can do than trust and believe God’s Word. Jesus Christ said in Luke 1:37(NIV), “For no word from God will ever fail.”
In a marriage, when a spouse begins to feel that things are coming unglued, the tendency is to lean on themselves to be the glue to fix things. You’re dealing with another person’s character, habit patterns, flaws, and weaknesses, and sometimes they can feel impossible to get through to. Their actions might leave you with the sense that you’re not being heard and respected, and that you are not receiving the honor, love, and commitment you deserve. You’re looking to the other spouse to give you the kind of support and reassurance that makes these bad feelings go away. When they choose not to do it, and instead, continue behaving poorly towards you, the disappointment can be overwhelming. It’s an all-consuming hurt and it is hard to believe that someone you love so much can deliberately treat you so unkind.
You say things like, “This is not the person I married.” You might even begin to blame the person for not holding up their end of the bargain, but you have to ask, “Am I holding up my end?” We stand before God and ask Him for the privilege and responsibility to love, honor, and support someone a lifetime. Do we think that God would give us this without also giving us everything we need to remain committed in the unity of Christ? The answer is in Ephesians 1:3(NLT). It says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” This verse means that the same Spirit that was operating in Jesus Christ and helping him to accomplish God’s mission is in us. The Spirit of Christ will help us in our marriages if we lean on him and allow him to lead, guide, and direct us. It takes patience, courage, and fully persuaded faith in God.
You and I don’t have any glue, and we see in the world today what happens when people don’t know this or refuse to accept it. God’s love is the glue, and in order to allow Jesus Christ to be the head of our relationships, we must lean on his love to steer our unions. We must submit to his love, and sometimes this means we must endure the discomfort of our spouse’s not meeting our emotional needs. Our Heavenly Father will intervene if we allow Him, and if give Him the bandwidth of our patience and faith. He will send His angels to minister to our spouses and to us, and the Holy Spirit will do the internal work that only he can do.
God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge about Him. What we don’t know about God can cause us to lose out. There are many women that feel the same as the woman I overheard in the grocery store. Because of her lack of believing and knowledge about God’s Word, she was outsmarted by the devil, and he used her marriage experience to injure her. So much so, she feels that she never wants to get married again. Marriage is God’s institution. It belongs to Him, and He has gifted it to us. ALL His gifts are good and perfect, but just as the devil tricked Adam and Eve, he will trick us into thinking that marriage isn’t what God established it to be. We must not allow ourselves to be tricked this way. Because if we do, we might be tricked out of other blessings that Heavenly Father wants to give us as well.
It is so important to learn to lean on God now, before you get married. Marriages and families are integral to the movement of God’s Plan in the earth. Through them, you and I have the great blessing of raising children who both honor God and the institutions He has established in the earth. Instead of becoming jaded by our poor experiences, we need to press into Heavenly Father like never before and renew our minds to what He says in His Word. He will protect the gift of marriage that He’s given us if we will trust Him wholeheartedly and be diligent to move as He leads.■
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“Marriage Is a Good and Perfect Gift from God”, written by KLizzie for Springfield Fellowship, Inc. © 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
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