“I’m not ready to meet anyone serious right now. I need to get myself together financially before I make that move.” I’ve heard men of all ages make this statement. Even those that have relationships with significant women in their lives still point to a lack of financial stability as their hold-off for marriage. It’s important to put it out there right up front that some men, a lot of them actually, are not interested in marriage. Although it may be somewhere in the back of their minds as a “one day I might” type of deal, the idea of marriage doesn’t thrill them, and being monogamous may not be all that high on their list of priorities either. For them, the right time to look for a wife is too far out there to contemplate seriously.
All the instruction, wisdom, and direction that God has given in His Word probably doesn’t matter all that much to a man that isn’t prioritizing marriage or thinking about preparing for it. Instead, he may be much more interested in having his physical needs met by a woman he’s not committed to. He isn’t concerned about the damage he may be doing to her destiny, and he isn’t thinking about what he may be doing to his own destiny. He’s not thinking about the price that he will have to pay one day for the poor choices and bad decisions that he may be making now.
A man that isn’t interested in his destiny isn’t likely to be all that interested in his legacy. The difference between a man that isn’t interested in his legacy and one that is can be summed up in one word, heart. 2Chronicles 16:9(NIV) states, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” We should be the ones searching for God, but here in this verse, we see the meekness of the Lord to search for us. He’s looking for people that have a heart for Him, because these are individuals He can partner with and do amazing things.
When a man’s heart is loyal to God, destiny becomes an amazingly important word. Destiny causes our eyes to open wide when we recognize that Jesus Christ is the one who steers the wheel and not us. Contrary to society’s view, we do not determine our own destinies. If we did, everyone could do and become anything they wanted. When we’re kids, being told that we can do anything and become anything we want sounds wonderful, but as we get older, we should recognize that all the opportunities we wanted didn’t come our way. Only those that were meant for our particular sojourn on earth availed themselves before us.
Acts 17:26(NIV) tells us, “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” This verse demonstrates the unfathomable richness of God’s intellect and plan. From one man, Adam, came billions of people, and not one of those individuals is without a destiny. God knows every person intimately. He knows everything there is to know about us. Acts 17:26 tells us that He appointed the time that we would enter the earth, and he appointed the place where we’d be born. Nothing about us escapes His plan. Romans 8:29(NLT) declares, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Long before we entered our mother’s womb, God knew us and gave us a destiny to be lived-out through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Destiny is in our DNA. It’s embedded in each of us. This earth experience affords us the opportunity to become conscious of our destiny in Christ, and to walk in it as fully as we possibly can. When a man is interested in destiny, he is no longer consumed with what a woman has to do to satisfy him physically, intellectually, or in any other way. He’s driven by the God-force that is so strong in his motivation and being that it enters the room before he does. The confidence he wears is not of his own making, it comes from God, and this is the confidence that would not allow something like money, or the lack thereof, to keep him from pursuing what God has decreed for his life.
Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Seeking God first is not a suggestion. It is a commandment. When a man has heart, he is asking Heavenly Father questions that prepare him for destiny. He is seeking God’s Will for his life, because he understands that God has a plan for him. He understands that this plan must be carried out specifically by him to change the trajectory of a bloodline, to break curses, and to fulfill not just his destiny, but to lay the foundation for the destiny of future generations.
Is it the right time for you to look for a wife? If you are asking God the question with concern and seeking clarity, then the question itself could be a very good indicator. It demonstrates your humility as a man to seek God first, and to be led by Him concerning what is right for your life. Proverbs 18:22(NLT) states, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” It’s God that assigns the role and responsibility of a man, and the connection between God’s favor and being a husband cannot be missed. So, even if you don’t feel you’re quite prepared for marriage at this juncture, now is the best time to seek God and allow Him to prepare you.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Is It the Right Time for Me to Look for A Wife?”, written by FMack. Springfield Fellowship © 2021. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
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