James 1:19(NLT)
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
Anyone that has experienced the blessing of a significant relationship understands how crucial communication is to maintain it. James 1:19 sheds light on the reality that communication isn’t just about what comes out of our mouths, but it is also a big part of what abides in our hearts. Relationships can be shredded to pieces by the tongue of a person that is undisciplined in their thoughts and words. God tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This means that as brothers and sisters that desire marriage and good relationships, we can use our mouths to speak those blessings into being and to keep our unions saturated with the love and light of Christ.
The words we pray Effective communication is key to effective prayer. Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us, “Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” The manifestation of every blessing begins with prayer and most of us recognize that stringing together random words will not convey the spirit of prayer that our Heavenly Father requires. Our whole hearts must be engaged in prayer and our words need to communicate our honor for who God is and our gratitude for all He’s done for us.
When we communicate with God, we should do so in the humblest way that we can, and we should also understand that the words we pray are very important. There are no better words that we can pray than the ones God’s given us in His Word. Philippians 2:16 tells us to hold firmly to the Word of life, and this is exactly what God’s Word is; it’s life to us! When we speak His Word, we unleash His power in our circumstances and conditions.
The words we say It’s sometimes difficult to communicate effectively when feelings and emotions aren’t in their right pocket. Sadness, frustration, and anger can create a messy concoction of hurtful words, and when we are not extremely careful, we sometimes speak them to those we love most. Ephesians 4:2 (NLT) tells us, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” In a relationship, we can get comfortable with the other person very quickly and begin to let a certain level of patience and kindness slip away. We must be mindful of this. Of course, it is important to communicate our feelings if we disagree, we’re feeling hurt about something, or we’re thankful and appreciate being in the person’s life. However, God commands us to be humble and gentle, and we must learn to season our words that way so that we don’t cause further injury to the relationship.
Many of us tend to go for the jugular with our words when things get heated in a disagreement. “If you come for me, I’m coming for you!” we think to ourselves. This kind of attitude and practice is a blocker because it violates the commandment God has given us in Ephesians 4:2. It will keep us from partnering successfully and may even block us from meeting our person. We need to nullify this habit and be slow to speak in our communication. James 3:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.” An untamed tongue can do a lot of damage. We must learn to say what’s in our hearts calmly, with no intention to harm or hinder. We must also learn to listen even when we don’t like the words the other person is speaking.
Effective communication is key for our relationship with our Heavenly Father, and it is essential to maintain any other relationship as well. One of the greatest gifts we can extend to ourselves is to learn to communicate honestly, patiently, and thoughtfully, with an intent to be kind. James 1:20(NLT) tells us, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Communicating angrily hardly never ends in a peaceful resolution. It’s important that we control our anger and don’t allow it to control us. Pray and ask the Lord to arrest your tongue in the heat of a disagreement and allow His peace to saturate your mind and heart. Also pray daily for a tender heart towards others, the kind that never seeks to hurt or injure anyone with your words. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Communication Is Key”, written for Springfield Fellowship © 2024. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
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