My doorbell rang unexpectedly, and when I approached the front door, I saw the delivery man walking away. It was a summer afternoon a few years ago, and I wasn’t expecting a package. I opened the door and there was a small box on my front doorstep. I had been dating someone for a little less than a year, and we’d had our first major argument. He sent a lovely gift as a way of apologizing. He had made a comment that didn’t sit well with me. It took me back to a very painful time in my life, and my response to him was beneath the standard of the Godly woman I knew myself to be.
Attentive and benevolent, he was willing to help with anything I had trouble with, and it didn’t hurt that he was very handy with repairs around my house. For a while, we both thought we might have a future together, but the thing that kept getting in the way was his lack of communication. Everyone says I have the gift of gab, and I have no problem communicating my feelings. So, being in a relationship with someone that processes everything internally and rarely communicates how or what he’s feeling was tremendously challenging, especially when it’s clear he was not willing to change and resented the prospect of having to.
One of the truths that must be etched upon our hearts is that every quality relationship we’ve had or currently have is birthed out of the quality relationship we share with our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. Our relationship with God is the most important of any other in our lives. He has given us prayer as a way of communing and preserving the intimacy in our relationship with Him.
The practice of prayer is sacred communication and fellowship with God, and it is a requirement for all His children. He commands us in 1Thessalonians 5:17 to pray without ceasing. This does not mean that He intends us to do nothing else but pray 24/7. In this verse, He’s expressing the reality that prayer must be a priority in our lives and communing with our Creator should be on our minds continually. He delights in it and He wants us to delight in it too. It is a very personal bond that we have with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, because He makes each of us feel as though we have His full and undivided attention. We are indeed the apple of His eye, and He desires that we communicate with Him often.
Just as prayer is a standard of sacredness and honor towards our Heavenly Father, we must also have honor and reverence for those closest to us. This means that as believers, we must be obedient to the standards and practices that God has set forth in His Word in every aspect of our lives. God has given us a standard and practice for maintaining intimacy in all our relationships. He’s made it clear that open, honest, and respectful communication is a key component in the bond of unity. He gives us a template for this in 1Peter 3:8-12(NLT). This passage states:
8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. 11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. 12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”
If you desire to love and honor another person that you have deemed special and significant to your life, recognize that God’s standard is the one He blesses. If we’re not in line with it, then we will have to change. Humility will always pull on us to examine the way God demonstrates love and then follow suit. Genesis 1:26 tells us that we are made in His image, and we must understand that in order for us to live like Christ we must love like Christ.
James 1:19-20(NLT) tells us “19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” As we see from this verse, being a good listener is Godly. Whether it’s a beautiful conversation about hopes for the future, about someone’s day, or their likes and dislikes, being a good listener requires us to acknowledge the other person is being heard.
Communication is important to a meaningful and successful relationship. What we say and how we listen to others can leave a legacy of God’s love and this is very important to Him. God is the Perfect Communicator. His Word is razor sharp, because it is full of His truth, wisdom, and love. It is our guide, and it is life to us. He tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that we can follow His path of love by speaking life or we can do the exact opposite by speaking words that injure and turn people against us. The bottom line is that God created us to reign in life and communicating is part of the package. As His children, we have it within us to learn to do this and do it well enough to establish unity and respect in our relationships. ■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Communicating Honestly, Openly, and with Mutual Respect”, written by Kim Times for Springfield Fellowship, Inc., springfieldfellowshipinc.org© 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
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